thatoneguy311

hi, is ANY one still around?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rr7amw…
this war was forgotten to fast. this war did not end, it disappeared and is regrowing. anyone who sees this i want you to spread this video and this topic on every bit of power you can. this is a fresh new year so lets start with are hands held high in this fight.
please share.

i got my school laptop today ^-^.
but i can't open dmg files so i can't play minecraft or skype. :c

iv lost my skill with drawing, im trying to get it back. iv been painting SDE a lot latly. i got the gencon figure nyan nyan and shes awsome, but its a birthday pressent so i don't get her till october.

over the supper i played like 9 battle of warhammer 40k (i sold my chaos army and i play orks now) i build a stompa and im vary happy with it (pictures later)

im doing cosplay with my dad now so pictures will be up someday (XD)

with all this i may be getting my own laptop so i won't need the school one, that being said ill be on more, ill draw or pain more, and youll see my tarrible work more ^-^.

also im working on building my own minitures game. rules are hard to build.

im sure i talked about my sandy hook night mare all reddy.

but 1 or 2 days ago i had a night mare again.

my faimly is wanted dead by the people in my city so during the night we diside to flee the city and make way to a new place leaving everything behind us. so as where walking out a car drives down the street and rails my brother and then another one comes out of a driveway and hits him and they both fly into a building and the car expoleds caching the building on fire and sprying glass everywhere. so i run in to see if hes still alive to fine him missing a army and he had a leg chared to the bone from the fire. i picked him up and ran out of the building and got in my truck and drove of trying to find a hosbittle that was safe.
then i woke up.

glass the bomb today.
limbs from my brothing.
one of the victomes was 8 today, younger then me so litttle brother.
explotion as in the car and the bomb today.

something is wrong with me?? this is the second time iv had a nightmare that shows the fuchter.

iv noticed over brake that nothing is the same at my school anymore. everyone i talked to is really gone in but there still there. most people where have changed to the point to where its not even the same people anymore, same skin, but there minds have changed. when i say everyone i mean like 2 or 3 people have not changed, everyone elts has. it makes me sad. its also been making me vary mad. i know iv changed to but most of the things that have changed about me have not been noticeable other then my closest friends. what i mane by this is this.
there are friends and good friends

others: people i sometimes talk to
friends: people people who i talk to a little bit more then most people
good friends: ones that are friends and that talk to you fairly often.
best friends: a mist of good and close.
close friends: they know who you are.
are a dating friend: you fill this in.

this little table if you will, is like empty now cuz its shifted a lot. the people who where close friends are now like good friends, and we never really talk. i have one friend i always talk to but this is a dating friend i just hid it.
my point is i miss my old little would. back when tonyassassin and i where good good friends. now we never talk. him and i did everything together in 6th grade. if one of us got in trubble, we both went down. if you did something to one of us then the other person was effected. it was fun. silver and i where really really good friends. this is back when she did not know how i felt about her. but we talked a lot to. courteney and i where, (no hiding) alright friends. so was zamos.
then 7th grade got better but tony left. the others got a bit better then one by one i lost them all up to this day. other charicters came in and out.

to be honest i don't think i have as much of a watcher bace either. i have them, but none ever says anything really. but what ever i guess.
but iv litterly have had something like 12 relationships in the past year and a half. is it me or is this number a bit high? yeah im dating someone but who knows what will happen. whenever i start something it turns into a shit storm Asap. idk maybe i did something that i am sorry for that is screwing with my luck or something. all i know is it sucks.

mean wile in 8th grade, oh yeah, i talk to litterly 3 people now! someone said she was my best friend but we don't even talk. i find random notes with my name on them all the time. they all are always difriently written but i can never read it. from what i can read its something about me then as soon as someone sees it they think im dating a 6th grader -_- . im trying not to think about this so i disided to wright a jurnal about since none cares i thought it would be smart. i know for a fact silver will not read this, she never looks at my devient art anymore, for that matter none really does.

im blabering cuz im so bored, pissed, depressed and tired, it is like 1:00 in the morning.
iv only got 2 things left i hold close to me. my cat that is on the way. and my gf. thats all i have left. and even though i need someone to back me up, i can live threw these last 30 to 40 days at this school, for good. ill never half to deal with them. as for my gf yes, i will get seprated. for now.
for now.

iv been hearing voiceis in my head again, and iv started talking to my self again. so this odd. idk maybe im just losing it all togeather and im dying from some horrible unknown uncureable mental sickness that only sebastian understands. id scratch that down on my test if that was a answer.
all i can think about now, is how long im gonna last if this keeps getting worse, and how far can i go.
for now.